Lightning Blows Up Florida Woman’s Toilet

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A Florida woman had the feces scared out of her this week when lightning caused her toilet to explode.

During a thunderstorm, a bolt of lightning struck her septic tank and sent a powerful electrical charge through her plumbing. Methane gas built up in the pipes, a natural phenomenon, ignited causing the explosion, a plumber said.

Marylou Ward of Port Charlotte told local television station WINK that her toilet was shattered into hundreds of pieces and that it was the loudest sound she had ever heard.

Fortunately, the bathroom was unoccupied at the time.

A Hunger Emergency: Boy Calls 911

A five-year-old boy in Sanford, a suburb of Orlando, was hungry. Rather than tell his older sister, he decided to call 911 instead.

When police officers arrived at his house to check up on him, they patiently explained that the 911 system was for dire emergencies not hunger pangs.

But then the cops slipped off to Pizza Hut and returned to the house and brought the boy a large pizza.

Biting Comment: Get Out of My House

A 61-year-old Fort Lauderdale woman, who police described as nearly toothless, was awakened in the middle of the night to a fire alarm. When she rushed to the door, a stranger barged in and started calling her “mama” and reassuring her everything would be all right.

The woman told officers she bit the man “with the little teeth I got.” She ran out of her apartment and the man locked himself inside.

After the woman called police from a neighbor’s home, the cops arrived and hauled off the Florida man and charged him with three felonies.

Gators on Meth? Careful What You Flush

Tennessee law enforcement officials are warning people not to flush drugs down the toilet.

Why?

Because birds, fish, and even alligators could be harmed.

Imagine a gator on meth. Now that’s scary.

However, there have been no confirmed cases of drugged-up gators on the prowl.

But not so with squirrels. An Alabama man was arrested recently for allegedly feeding methamphetamine to a pet squirrel named Deeznutz and training it to attack people. No drug tests could be performed on the rodent to verify the presence of meth, however.

STRANGE FACTS: Florida, the lightning capital of the United States, has on average 3,500 cloud-to-ground lightning flashes per day.

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The post Lightning Blows Up Florida Woman’s Toilet appeared first on J.C. Bruce.