So a Monkey Walks Into a Bar…

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So, a monkey walked into a bar…

Which sounds like the start of a joke, but it wasn’t so funny to the patrons in a Patos, Brazil watering hole.

Imagine sitting on a barstool, minding your own business, when you look over and there is a tiny monkey with a long tail, a capushin, knocking back rum from glasses left on the bar.

Well, at least it’s not a pink elephant, you might think. Maybe you’ve had one (or three) too many. But, no, the monkey’s real and he’s getting totally hammered.

When you look up again, he’s gone.

Was it your imagination?

But, no–again. The monkey scampered back to the kitchen and returned with an enormous…

…butcher knife.

And he’s heading straight for you. Well, maybe not too straight, because he is three sheets to the wind.

You run out, as do other male patrons in the bar as the monkey unleashes his knife-wielding fury. But only at the guys. He leaves the women alone. Chivalrous.

Eventually, the little primate was chased out of the saloon, the Washington Post reported, and it skedaddled onto the roof where a video of him slashing the roof’s tiles has gone viral.

Firefighters later captured the monkey and released him into the wild, but nearby residents have reported that he is behaving aggressively toward them

Must be a ferocious hangover.

STRANGE FACT: Some species of monkeys urinate on their subordinates to maintain dominance. And you thought it was just your boss.

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